Co-dependent Questions

Ask yourself these questions to see if you are acting co-dependently.

  1. I always put the needs of others before my own needs.
  2. No matter what happens other people come first.
  3. It is my responsibility to devote my energies to helping others solve their problems.
  4. What I feel isn’t important as long as others are OK.
  5. Because it is selfish, I cannot put my own needs before others.
  6. I put on a show to impress people, I am not the person I pretend to be.
  7. In order to get along and be liked I need to be what people want me to be.
  8. I live too much by other people’s standards.
  9. Very often I don’t try to become friends with people because I think they won’t like me.
  10. I need to make excuses or appologise for myself most of the time.
  11. My life is controlled by others behaviour.
  12. The effects of others behaviour are a constant threat to me.
  13. I could manage things properly if only others would change.

Score each answer from 1 to 5 – with 1 being weakest.

The total score will indicate your co-dependent or independent state. So if you score more than 30 you may not be as independent as you thought.

If you are worried about your independent / co-dependent state contact a counselor, a self-help group like Al-anon or Co-dependents Anonymous.

Who knows you may find freedom from an inner tyranny.

Ten Suggestions for a Life of Inner Freedom.

The Zen Commandments: Ten Suggestions for a Life of Inner Freedom.



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