Ask yourself these questions to see if you are acting co-dependently.
- I always put the needs of others before my own needs.
- No matter what happens other people come first.
- It is my responsibility to devote my energies to helping others solve their problems.
- What I feel isn’t important as long as others are OK.
- Because it is selfish, I cannot put my own needs before others.
- I put on a show to impress people, I am not the person I pretend to be.
- In order to get along and be liked I need to be what people want me to be.
- I live too much by other people’s standards.
- Very often I don’t try to become friends with people because I think they won’t like me.
- I need to make excuses or appologise for myself most of the time.
- My life is controlled by others behaviour.
- The effects of others behaviour are a constant threat to me.
- I could manage things properly if only others would change.
Score each answer from 1 to 5 – with 1 being weakest.
The total score will indicate your co-dependent or independent state. So if you score more than 30 you may not be as independent as you thought.
If you are worried about your independent / co-dependent state contact a counselor, a self-help group like Al-anon or Co-dependents Anonymous.
Who knows you may find freedom from an inner tyranny.