DEVELOPING INTERNAL VALIDATION
Because messages of love were so inconsistent during childhood, ACOAs do not develop strong self-esteem and consequently must seek it from others. Even when this approval is received, it is often dismissed as invalid because it conflicts with the negative self-image so firmly entrenched in childhood. Consequently, the ACOA relies on external events and people to validate himself instead of on a realistic image of himself as a worthy person.
Building self-confidence is the most effective way for the ACOA to develop self-esteem. Trusting in one’s own ability, focusing on accomplishing small tasks, and giving oneself credit for achievement of goals gives the ACOA a feeling of success and an ability to trust in himself. Focusing on the present moment and not predicting success or failure in future events decrease anxiety and make confidence-building activities more easily attainable.
Also, accepting negative feedback becomes easier when the ACOA realizes that it is not an indication of self worth. Eventually he can rely on himself for positive feelings and not be dependent on external events or people for validation.
This post has 9 parts as follows;
- FACING REALITY
- COMPLETING PROJECTS
- ACHIEVING HONESTY
- ACCEPTING ONESELF
- LEARNING TO HAVE FUN
- DEVELOPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
- DEVELOPING INTERNAL VALIDATION