Symptoms and Characteristics of Codependence

These symptoms and characteristics of the thoughts and actions of a codependent are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.

Denial Symptoms:

  • I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
  • I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
  • I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low Self Esteem Symptoms:

  • I have difficulty making decisions.
  • I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
  • I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
  • I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
  • I value others approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
  • I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Symptoms:

  • I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others anger.
  • I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
  • I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
  • I value others opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
  • I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
  • I accept sex when I want love.

Control Symptoms:

  • I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
  • I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
  • I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
  • I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
  • I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
  • I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
  • I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others

If you think or act in these ways you may be ’learnt’ behaviors that are detrimental to your emotional and spiritual health.

If so Al-anon, Codependence Anonymous or Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA) meetings may be of assistance. Go to Self-help links page.


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