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10 Steps to Happiness

Posted by fredjoiners on June 6, 2008

Happiness is; Small waterfall into stream Ten Keys to Happiness By Deepak Chopra

Physical well being is inseparable from emotional well being. Happy people are healthy people. The wisdom traditions of the world tell us that happiness does not depend on what you have, but on who you are. Let’s take a moment to reflect on what really creates happiness in us.

The following ten keys, gleaned from the wisdom traditions, may give us some insight.

  1. Listen to your body’s wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, ‘How do you feel about this?’ If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.
  2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don’t struggle against the infinite scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.
  3. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are recontacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn’t good for you.
  4. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization.
  5. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.
  6. Know that the world ‘out there’ reflects your reality ‘in here.’ The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.
  7. Shed the burden of judgment you will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self love.
  8. Don’t contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.
  9. Replace fear-motivated behavior with love-motivated behavior. Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.
  10. Understand that the physical world is just a mirror of a deeper intelligence. Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet’s air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth.

Deepak Chopra

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Posted in Brain, Eating Problems, Emotions, Health, Higher Power, Just for today, Recovery, Relationships, Relaxation, help, spiritual | Tagged: , , | No Comments »

24 Workplace Actions of ACOA’s

Posted by fredjoiners on May 20, 2008

 Woman Adult child of alcoholic, addict Adult Children of Alcoholism / Addiction in the Workplace

ACOA’s often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true codependency style these often confuse and confound us.

Some of these are;

  1. We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood.
  2. We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships.
  3. We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job.
  4. Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them.
  5. We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms of our alcoholic parent.
  6. We have felt isolated and different from everyone around us, but we don’t really know why.
  7. We lose our temper when things upset us rather than dealing with problems productively.
  8. We busy ourselves with our co-workers’ jobs, often telling them how to do their work.
  9. We can get hurt feelings when co-workers do things socially together without asking us, even though we have not made an effort to get to know them and join in the social life.
  10. We are afraid to make the first move to get to know a co-worker better, thinking they will not like us or approve of us.
  11. We usually do not know how to ask for what we want or need on the job, even for little things.
  12. We do not know how to speak up for ourselves when someone has said or done something inappropriate. We try desperately to avoid face-to-face confrontations.
  13. We are sensitive and can get extremely upset with any form of criticism of our work.
  14. We want to be in charge of every project or activity, feeling more comfortable when we are in control of every detail, rather than letting others be responsible.
  15. We may be the workplace “clown” to cover up our insecurities or to get attention from others.
  16. We are people-pleasers and may take on extra work, or our co-worker’s tasks, in order to be liked and receive approval from others.
  17. We do not know how to be assertive in getting our needs met or expressing a concern. We may have to repeatedly rehearse our comments before delivering them.
  18. We have felt that we do not deserve a raise, promotion, better workspace, or a better job.
  19. We do not know how to set boundaries, and we let others interrupt us. We can accept more work without knowing how to say ‘no’ appropriately.
  20. We are perfectionists about our own work and expect others to be the same and have the same work ethics and values.
  21. We become workaholics because it gives us a feeling of self-worth we did not get as a child.
  22. We may jump from job to job, looking for the perfect position as the substitute for the secure and nurturing home environment we did not have.
  23. We get upset when people do things that affect us or our work without asking us first.
  24. We have a high tolerance for workplace dysfunction and tend to stick it out in an unhappy job because we lack the self-esteem to leave.

After the ACOA laundry list of characterisation.

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Posted in ACOA, Al-anon, Alateen, Co-dependency, Emotions, Families, Relationships, Stress, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism | Tagged: , , , , , | No Comments »

Alcohol and Drugs Used for Dutch Courage

Posted by fredjoiners on May 12, 2008

Couple on a date in martini lounge uid 1343829 Young people are intentionally taking drink and drugs for better sex

Teenagers and young adults across Europe drink and take drugs as part of deliberate sexual strategies.

Findings published today in BMC Public Health, reveal that a third of 16-35 year old males and a quarter of females surveyed are drinking alcohol to increase their chances of sex, while cocaine, ecstasy and cannabis are intentionally used to enhance sexual arousal or prolong sex.

The study was conducted by researchers in public health and social sciences from across Europe.

More than 1300 people aged between 16 and 35 and who routinely socialise in nightlife settings completed anonymous questionnaires.

Virtually all of the survey participants had drunk alcohol with most having had their first drink when 14 or 15 years old.

Three quarters of the respondents had tried or used cannabis, while around 30 percent had at least tried ecstasy or cocaine.

Overall, alcohol was most likely to be used to facilitate a sexual encounter, while cocaine and cannabis were more likely to be utilised to enhance sexual sensations and arousal.

Despite these perceived sexual “benefits”, drunkenness and drug use were strongly associated with an increase in risk taking behaviour and feeling regretful about having sex while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Thus, participants who had been drunk in the past four weeks were more likely to have had five or more partners, sex without a condom and to have regretted sex after drink or drugs in the past 12 months.

Cannabis, cocaine or ecstasy use was linked to similar consequences.

“Trends in recent decades have resulted in recreational drug use and binge drinking becoming routine features of European nightlife,” says lead author Mark Bellis, from Liverpool John Moores University. “Millions of young Europeans now take drugs and drink in ways which alter their sexual decisions and increase their chances of unsafe sex or sex that is later regretted. Yet despite the negative consequences, we found many are deliberately taking these substances to achieve quite specific sexual effects.”

Individuals were significantly more likely to have had sex under 16 years if they had used alcohol, cannabis, cocaine or ecstasy before that age.

Girls in particular were as much as four times as likely to have had sex before the age of 16 if they drank alcohol or used cannabis under 16.

“Sexual activity accompanied by substance use is not just incidental, but often sexually motivated,” says co-author, consultant psychiatrist Amador Calafat. “Interventions addressing sexual health are often developed, managed and implemented independently from those addressing substance use, and vice versa. However, young people often see alcohol, drugs and sex all as part of the same social experience and addressing these issues requires an equally joined up approach. ”

Sexual uses of alcohol and drugs and the associated health risks: a cross sectional study of young people in nine European cities by Mark A Bellis, Karen Hughes, Amador Calafat, Montse Juan, Anna Ramon, Jose A Rodriguez, Fernando Mendes, Susanne Schnitzer and Penny Phillips-Howard; BMC Public Health.

Article available here free at BioMed Central

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Posted in Drugs, Families, Relationships, Research reports, Sexuality, Youth, alcohol, men, women | No Comments »

Top Posts March ‘08

Posted by fredjoiners on April 14, 2008

Posted in ACOA, Al-anon, Alateen, Alcoholics Anonymous, Cannabis, Co-dependency, Doctors, Drugs, Eating Problems, Emotions, Families, Gambling, Higher Power, Marijuana, Money Problems, Recovery, Relapse, Relationships, Sexuality, Youth, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, disease, men, spiritual, treatment, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

Most Popular Articles December 2007

Posted by fredjoiners on January 13, 2008

 

Posted in ACOA, Al-anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, Brain, Cannabis, Co-dependency, Eating Problems, Emotions, Families, Gambling, Just for today, Marijuana, Recovery, Relationships, Relaxation, Self-help, Sexuality, Youth, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, spiritual, women | 1 Comment »

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