Al-anon Works in India

Fighting the spirits with spirituality

Michelle was an angry woman.

Often, when her husband returned from work, she would slam doors, swear and shout. Once, when he was asleep, she even poured a bucketful of water on him and later regretted drenching the mattress she shared with him. There were even times she secretly wished for a call informing her that her husband had fallen into a gutter somewhere. That was her idea of justice. Michelle did not hate her husband. She hated him when he was drunk. As the wife of an alcoholic, she had slowly imbibed the drunkard’s lack of self-control herself.

Full story at Times of India, Spirituality in Al-anon

See also;

• Al-Anon May be able to help
• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Address the drinking problem directly
• Styles of Enabling Behavior
• Subscribe by e-Mail to Alcohol Self-help News

24 Workplace Actions of ACOA’s

  Adult Children of Alcoholism / Addiction in the Workplace

ACOA’s often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true codependency style these often confuse and confound us.

Some of these are;

1. We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood.
2. We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships.
3. We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job.
4. Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them.
5. We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms of our alcoholic parent.
6. We have felt isolated and different from everyone around us, but we don’t really know why.
7. We lose our temper when things upset us rather than dealing with problems productively.
8. We busy ourselves with our co-workers’ jobs, often telling them how to do their work.
9. We can get hurt feelings when co-workers do things socially together without asking us, even though we have not made an effort to get to know them and join in the social life.
10. We are afraid to make the first move to get to know a co-worker better, thinking they will not like us or approve of us.
11. We usually do not know how to ask for what we want or need on the job, even for little things.
12. We do not know how to speak up for ourselves when someone has said or done something inappropriate. We try desperately to avoid face-to-face confrontations.
13. We are sensitive and can get extremely upset with any form of criticism of our work.
14. We want to be in charge of every project or activity, feeling more comfortable when we are in control of every detail, rather than letting others be responsible.
15. We may be the workplace “clown” to cover up our insecurities or to get attention from others.
16. We are people-pleasers and may take on extra work, or our co-worker’s tasks, in order to be liked and receive approval from others.
17. We do not know how to be assertive in getting our needs met or expressing a concern. We may have to repeatedly rehearse our comments before delivering them.
18. We have felt that we do not deserve a raise, promotion, better workspace, or a better job.
19. We do not know how to set boundaries, and we let others interrupt us. We can accept more work without knowing how to say ‘no’ appropriately.
20. We are perfectionists about our own work and expect others to be the same and have the same work ethics and values.
21. We become workaholics because it gives us a feeling of self-worth we did not get as a child.
22. We may jump from job to job, looking for the perfect position as the substitute for the secure and nurturing home environment we did not have.
23. We get upset when people do things that affect us or our work without asking us first.
24. We have a high tolerance for workplace dysfunction and tend to stick it out in an unhappy job because we lack the self-esteem to leave.

After the ACOA laundry list of characterisation.

See also;

• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Al-Anon May be able to help
• Alcoholic Family Roles
• Workaholism
• Subscribe by e-Mail to Alcohol Self-help News

10 Ways to Help an Alcoholic

Alcoholics need help and these ‘affirmative love’ suggestions may help you.

It is important to put the responsibility for dealing with the alcohol problem squarely on the person in question while continuing to love them.

Doing the “right” thing can depend on how severe the alcohol problem is and on how much real understanding the person has. What works for someone who is highly functional in daily life and who knows that alcohol is causing trouble may not be the solution for someone who denies that there is a problem.

These suggestions are distilled from many years of experience, both mine and others. Helping an alcoholic works, it really works.

1. Don’t make it easy for the drinker to keep on drinking
2. Don’t stop loving them
3. Don’t nag, criticize, preach, or complain
4. Address the drinking problem directly
5. Seek help
6. Detach, separate, walk away
7. Set a good example
8. Take care of yourself
9. Be there for them when they’re ready
10. Learn about the disease

See also;

• A Problem Shared is a Problem Halved
• Al-Anon May be able to help
• Alcoholics Anonymous
• Alcoholic Family Roles
• Brief-TSF can assist people cease alcohol consumption.

Subscribe by e-Mail to Alcohol Self-help News

Help Youth Cope with Alcoholic Parents

Alcoholism is a worldwide issue causing problems not only for the drinker but for everyone else connected with that person as well.

There are more than 18 million alcoholics in the United States and Canada alone, many of them with children troubled by their parents’ drinking. Often, these young people have nowhere to turn for help.

This is where Alateen comes in. Alateen is a fellowship of young relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together to discuss their difficulties, encourage one another and learn how to cope with their problems. These young people are often introduced to Alateen by concerned friends, neighbors, school counselors and clergy - with a meeting held nearby.

Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups (AFG) which helps those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. Alateen members learn that compulsive drinking is a disease, an incurable illness which they did not cause, cannot cure nor control.

One of the most important lessons Alateen teaches is how to detach oneself emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.

Full story at Community Press

See also;

• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Al-Anon, Alateen May be able to help
• Alcohol intervention may help.
• Alcoholic Family Roles
• Subscribe by e-Mail to Alcohol Self-help News

Teenage Children of Alcoholism

Group helps teens cope with friends, relatives with alcoholism

Alcoholism is a worldwide issue causing problems not only for the drinker but for everyone else connected with that person as well.

There are more than 18 million alcoholics in the United States and Canada alone, many of them with children troubled by their parents’ drinking. Often, these young people have nowhere to turn for help.

This is where Alateen comes in. Alateen is a fellowship of young relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together to discuss their difficulties, encourage one another and learn how to cope with their problems. These young people are often introduced to Alateen by concerned friends, neighbours, school counselors and clergy - with a meeting held nearby.

Full story at Community Press

See also;

• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Al-Anon May be able to help
• Subscribe by e-Mail to Alcohol Self-help News